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“Hi Natasha,
I discovered your web site through www.newwoman.ru. That is so great what you're doing! RWA is a great idea, we need it... I would love to find
new friends and really hope that your web site will help me to do so. I've
been to United Stated for 6 years now. And my story is very similar to the ones that I've read on the Internet, but also a little bit different.”
When dreams come true
"I've never seriously thought about leaving St. Petersburg, Russia,
where I was born and grew up, but it turned out that I met an American Prince
Charming, and here I am, living in Los Angeles, California. But let me start from the beginning.
As long as I remember myself, I just couldn't find a decent boyfriend. Those that I had you can count on one hand.
Guys just didn't really fall for me. I'm not ugly or stupid and I'm not a bitchy either; I would say the other way around (yes, I'm modest too :-)), just
a regular, decent girl. Of course, I was always so skinny and may be that was the reason that nobody was really interested in me. Or may be I
just wasn't confident in myself enough. And I wanted to get married! I haven't had any specific criteria by what I would like the guy, it's
just had to be some chemistry, some spark between us, but that happened only couple of times with me. And without that spark I just couldn't go
on with the relationship... When I still was not married at the age of 25,
my girlfriends and relatives told me that I'm just very picky and my Prince
Charming might never appears.
By that time I already could tell the difference between Russian and foreign boyfriend. I don't know why but I've always leaned toward
foreigners. Once we met a tour guide with the bunch of Swedish in the restaurant and "continued" to have fun at the Jazz Club. Another time we
met 3 guys from Switzerland in the bar and walked around together all night enjoying white nights in down town St. Petersburg. (By saying "we"
I refer to my girlfriend who we hang around a lot, mostly in bars, restaurants and nightclubs, hoping to find our future husbands there).
My English was pretty decent, as I thought back then. I was practicing with the recordings and books, so I wouldn't lose my knowledge of it. My
girlfriend didn't speak English or any other foreign language at all.
So, I was always an interpreter. Then I started to date Yugoslavian guy, but
nothing turned out of that relationship because of the absence of that "spark" I was talking about earlier. Hi liked me a lot, and I... No
matter how I tried I just couldn't make myself to imagine him as my future
husband.
Then my mom told me about an ad in a newspaper written by some man from Finland. He wanted to marry a Russian girl. Here I'd like to note that
this was probably one of the first ads from the foreign in Russian newspaper. It was middle 80's, just after Gorbachev took over. Later
those ads started to pop up like crazy in almost all St. Petersburg's newspapers, but back then that was something strange and original.
Anyway, my mom convinced me to write him a letter, and I did. I never received
any response and forgot about it, but 6 months later when I came home from
the evening classes at the University, I found a young man sitting in my kitchen and drinking tea with my mom... That was a shock! I even didn't
understand at first who is he and how did he find out my address. Of course, I
forgot that little English I knew and couldn't say a word at all. To make the
long story short, we started dating. But once again, that "spark", that chemistry, was missing. He was great as a friend, but I couldn't even
think about him being my lover or husband. Besides, I met someone else who I
really fell in love to, and we broke up. (Two years later he showed up again, by the way, just like "sneg na golovu" (snow on my head). He was divorced already and had a little kid from Russian girl who lived in Finland after
they got married. We started to date again as friends - at least that's was I wanted to
think - and continued up until I had to leave the country and go to the United States).
Here I have to change the subject a little bit and tell about my other girlfriend. She is a Russian Jew and she started to think about leaving
the country when she was 16. It was a surprise for me. Her parents were pretty wealthy, and she had all that stuff that I wouldn't even dream
of, like Sony tape recorder, VCR and the car! But she felt like she was discriminated and she won't be able to accomplish certain things
living in Russia. So, they went to Israel in 1986 or something like that. I haven't seen her for years; she called and wrote very rarely.
But in 1994 she suddenly showed up in St. Petersburg. They tried to move to
Canada, and it didn't work. In addition, her marriage was on the rocks, and she found someone in Canada whom she was planning to continue her
life with. So, she suggested that I should live in Canada too. She offered to
write a letter (again) to some Canadian guy from the newspaper and see what happens. We did it together, because by that time I started to forget
any English I knew.
The ad we picked was from "simple Canadian men, John Smith, 34 y. o., willing to be a pen pal with Russian girl for romance and marriage". I
attached the picture and mailed it. Of course, I've never received any response from "John Smith". Instead, after 6 months I started to receive
a bunch of letters from different guys all over the world! I couldn't understand what's happening and where they all "came" from? Finally I
realized - and it was confirmed by my pen pals later - that "John Smith" is not a real men, but the agency!
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The most faithful pen pals were my future husband and the other guy from
Canada. But my husband was really persistent and aggressive, in a good
meaning of this word. He started to call me once a month, send gifts and
after 6 months invited me to United States. And of course, I just loved
his pictures. I could sense that "spark" will be there when we meet. I
didn't think I would be able to go to US. INS usually doesn't let single
ladies to enter the country. So, instead I invited him, and in August
1995 we finally met. |
And then we went through that Fiancé visa routine, and one year later I arrived to US. I asked him to purchase a round trip ticket with the opened date, so that if anything would go wrong I could leave without any trouble, and he did. I was planning not to get married for at least 3 months, but it turned out that I needed immediate medical attention, and in order to add me to his insurance we had to become husband and wife as soon as possible. So, 2 weeks after my arrival we went to Vegas and haven't been apart since then. Of course, we've had lots of problems and fights, but this is the whole different story."