Guide for American men:
how to marry a good Russian Woman

Advice for Guys from Bill (was originally published on General forum) For some of you looking for the Russian wives Bill kindly listed some of the most important things from his personal experience, that inspired his confidence and trust in his future wife: 1. In every correspondence/email between us, she responded (in detail) to every mention of what was important to me in my letters to her. No “canned” stuff. 2. When we conversed, she would remember everything that I had written in my letters, and was able to repeat it verbatim. In other words, it was important to her how I felt on different things.

3. She had a genuinely sweet disposition, and smile which appeared to radiate from the heart and soul, and not simply putting on an act for appearances.
4. Not once did she ask me for money. After about a year, I began sending her a few bucks now and then to help her out.
5. Every time I traveled to the Ukraine to visit her, she was uncomfortable with me wanting to eat in café’s or restaurants, and chose to cook for me whenever possible; which she did, and continues to do very well!
6. She placed my wants and needs before her own,
7. She wanted more than anything in the world to give me children, as my first wife was unable to bear children.
8. She was very affectionate, always holding my hand in public, rubbing my shoulders, and the rest is no one’s business ;o)
9. She was very interested in knowing everything about my family. And she remembered everything that was discussed.
10. In meeting her family, they were all very accomplished (no interest in coming to America, contrary to popular belief), and honest and decent people, with a strong Russian Orthodox background.
11. She was much more interested in quality time together (snuggling watching a movie), than hitting the clubs and kicking the daylights out of the night.
12. She was uncomfortable when I would spend money she felt excessive.
13. I explained to her that I was just an ordinary Joe in America, and NOT rich. She was not concerned by this in the least. She simply wanted the Romance in a marriage that her parents enjoyed, and explained that it was becoming incredibly more difficult in the Ukraine to find.
14. She made it clear that she wanted to work upon coming to America, to contribute to our family’s future.
15. Although she was astonishingly beautiful and well put together, she never dressed in a sexually provocative manner, however, more traditional and respectful.
16. She was very poised and well bred. Always displaying excellent deportment and manners.

This is just a few of the things that I felt alluring in my Russian woman. Since then, she has managed our family finances; to make my miniscule income, stretch further than I could not believe. Every day I return home from work, I know that I have the world’s greatest wife waiting for me! We are soon to have our first child together, and hope to have two more to follow.  By the way, I am 44 and my wife is 26. My wife best explains it, that now she is familiar with the AW, that Russian women are bred from little girls to be loving and devoted wives to their husband. She does not see that being a priority with AW.

It is not the age difference that is questionable. It is the heart, and upbringing of the Russian woman. There are several very attractive scum artists in the FSU, when cleaned up, look very beautiful. This is why it is important to spend countless hours of correspondence and visits, to make the very best selection possible in a wife. Conduct a very informal evaluation when you are in her company. Does she appear sincerely sweet, or is she putting on pretenses. Does her deportment suggest more that she is a follower of the Club scene than from a traditional way of life? Does she appear to be interested in YOU??!! 
It is always easy for common sense to advise the heart what it should do, but sometimes when the libido and the heart team up against common sense, the battle of good discretionary decision making is lost. There is much wisdom in the old cliché, “it is just as easy to fall in love with a Young Beautiful and Nice lady as it is an Old Ugly and Nice one.” The trick is, you may have to kiss several Toads until one turns into a Princess. But a combination of good judgment and patience, will produce a Princess!

These are just a few of the most significant factors which I would place at the top of my check list. I still stand behind the very simple philosophy, if it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it! This especially applies to relationships between FSU ladies and AM. Often times difficult to adhere to however, as it diverges with the old axiom - the trek to true happiness is worth any risk. It is true that the greatest rewards in life are not without risk. However, when choosing a lifelong mate, I suggest not haphazardly tossing caution to the wind. When I was going through the courting period with my wife, I found myself reading and responding to several Russian and Ukrainian message boards.

I specifically remember one AM in particular whom I became acquainted with, and was at approximately the same stage in the K-1 Visa process as I. We bounced several issues which arose during the K-1 Visa process off of one another, as well as certain aspects of our relationship. There was always a hint of uncertainty in his demeanor, that perhaps he was not making the right decision in marrying his FSU lady. He advised me one day, that his mother had found pictures of him when he was a baby, and created a photo page, which was a montage that showed progressive pictures of him from 1 year old to present. He attached this photo page to an email to his Fiancée, as he thought she may enjoy seeing it. In her return mail, she made no comment about this photo page. She only babbled on about the “I love you, I love you” stuff. He thought perhaps she was unable to get the photograph to download, and inquired in his return email if she had received this photo page? She replied that she had, and it was “nice.” This was reassuring to him, however, I thought it very aberrant to someone you were intending to spend the rest of your life with.

I considered this a “red flag.” My thoughts were that she would have perhaps made SOME flattering comment! Something as simple as what a beautiful baby he was, or that she was thrilled to receive such a gift, that she may look upon it for hours to see how wonderfully her true love has grown, yada, yada, yada. But to barely acknowledge this is in accordance with my post, “Does she appear to be interested in YOU??!!” Her reaction would suggest she wasn’t interested in him (other than to receive that priceless K-1 Visa). He asked me on more than one occasion my thoughts on this. However, it was not my place, so I offered very neutral, noncommittal comments.

We had very few contacts after this time. Approximately 1-½ years later, I received an extensive email from him, advising me that she had abandoned him six months after their marriage for a guy who owned a car dealership. She claimed extensive mental abuse, which he denied emphatically. He claimed that no matter how much he did for her, it was never sufficient or enough. He stated that if there was any mental abuse to speak of, it was from her end. He further stated that his sister and mother would not come around if she were present, as she was very domineering and curt with them (more red flags – trying to keep mom and sis at bay, until she accomplished her mission). At this time, he began unloading on me, all the warning signs he had dismissed, one right after the other, which all of a sudden had become exceptionally evident to him. When he began confessing the countless issues that should have easily evidenced he was being conned, I could not help but think that down deep, he had to know this day would eventually come. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it!