During our numerous discussions at RWA Forums, we frequently talked about American women. We were wondering: what did they think of us, Russian Women, especially those, who came abroad and married “their” men… We heard many negative opinions and suggestions related to this subject. It is very sad, but the majority of such opinions came from the American men. We heard opinions that “American women are envious of Russian women”, that they “hate” us, that they “don’t want us here”, and many other similar points of view.

The longer we live abroad, the more we interact with local women and the better judgments we make. Our experience teaches us, that there are no “bad women” and “good women”. There are just women, with different characters, with different tempers, with different values and morals. American women can be carreer-oriented, as well as family-oriented. They can be superficial and arrogant, as well as deep and sincere, nasty and rude, as well as kind and compassionate… Just like we. Just like any women…

In my large collection of mail, I have found several letters written to me by American women. They touched me by their sincerity and kindness, and I want to share them with the visitors of Russian Women Abroad.

Natasha Butsenina

“My impression of American men who look for wives from abroad…”

Hello Natasha,

I came across your web site by accident whilst surfing. May I congratulate you on the wonderful service, which you are providing for Russian lady-expatriates. I have been corresponding with a Russian family since 1992, and what struck me most is how sociable Russian people seem to be. I believe that your forum will ease the loneliness experienced when coming to a new country

I would like to make a little comment about my impression of the American men who look for wives from abroad.

It never ceases to amaze me to what efforts they will go both in time and money to find a bride in another country, and it makes me wonder, why it is that they couldn't find a wife in their own country. Did they put in as much effort there when trying to find a wife? Or, may be, among them there are many of those, who has some problems with relationships? I watched a documentary a few years ago about Americans meeting Russian ladies through one of the marriage agencies. Frankly, my impression was that the caliber of Russian ladies was much superior to that of the men in that documentary. Out of 25 men, only one man did find a bride. I would say that the Russian women were obviously pretty smart and not easily fooled.

Having married a foreigner more than forty years ago, I can understand the difficulties, which people encounter from a cultural perspective alone. To take a chance to marry a man without knowing his background and his family is either bravery or folly. I was fortunate enough to be living and working in my husband's country, so I was able to meet and interact with his family. Other than the usual adjustment which marriage brings there were no surprises for us.I have been reading your website for about a year and have learned so much about my new sister-in-laws country. I feel you are doing such a wonderful thing for all of these women who are in this strange country. I have been so touched by the number of Americans who are also supportive of these ladies.
Best wishes to you and all the Russian ladies,

Regards,

Maria L.

“I just feel so helpless…”

Hello,
My brother recently married a wonderful Russian lady. She has only been here since October and has been diagnosed with lung cancer, she has undergone surgery and had part of her lung removed, but has a lot of treatments to endure in the future, which are no guarantee that she will be cured, she has a 75% of the cancer coming back even after the chemo and radiation treatments. My brothers insurance is trying to get out of paying any of the bills saying it is a pre-existing condition. Do you know of any grants or places she can go to for financial help? I have been reading your website for a while and have learned so much about my new sister-in-laws country. I feel you are doing such a wonderful thing for all of these women who are in this strange country.

I absolutely adore my sister-in-law and her son...and my brother worships her. I just feel so helpless and felt the need to write you for advice.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Mary