FASCINATED BY MY WIFE

This is our story. Anna is from St. Petersburg and Joe is from New York. We were introduced in May 2001. We now live on Long Island, about 20 minutes east of New York City. At the time we met, Anna had recently graduated from the State University of St. Petersburg, with a 5 year degree in teaching and languages. She had also studied journalism for one year in Denmark.

When we met, Anna already spoke many languages, including English, Danish, Russian, Swedish, and more. This is something that impressed Joe. For his work (in the software and internet business) Joe had to travel abroad often, and was always impressed by people who understood multiple cultures and tongues. 

Joe and Anna were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. Joe expected that he would more likely be friends than anything else, but we got along so well, that we became best friends almost immediately. After receiving her graduate degree, Anna was offered a number of jobs in Europe, but decided to follow her heart instead and marry Joe. Joe traveled to Europe as much as he good, but figured he better propose quickly and take Anna off the market and propose or risk loosing Anna to someone else. 

We became engaged over the summer. We went to the Dominican Republic for 10 days in the fall, and spent Thanksgiving and New Years together in St. Petersburg. Anna finally moved to New York in late January 2002. We were married in a civil ceremony in on valentine's day, and had a Catholic Wedding on April 20th.

We choose Florida for our honeymoon, spending 10 days in the Key West, Key Largo and the Everglades. We rented a convertible there and had fun. Joe has a girl Kelly and a son Joseph, who were 11 and 13 respectively at the time of the wedding, and they were maid-of-honor and best man.

Today, we are adjusting to our new life together. Joe runs a small technology company, and hopes to run for public office in the future. Anna does some part time teaching of Danish and Russian, and some modeling. She is also pursuing an advanced degree in psychology in night school. 

We like dancing and are taking classes at Fred Astaire studios. We enjoy music and will see Lenny Kravitz, Pink, and Blondie in concert this summer. We also like Broadway shows and small theatre in New York. We saw the Chieftains at Lincoln Center on St. Patrick's Day.

ADJUSTING TO A NEW LIFE

We are very happy with our life together. Yet it is important to admit that there are huge adjustments when people from different countries and different background marry. The challenges are enormous. However, the rewards are also enormous, because our different backgrounds offer the opportunity to explore new things that could not have been known otherwise.

ADVISE TO OTHER RUSSIAN AMERICAN COUPLES

Advise from Joe to American Guys Marrying Russian Girls:
First of all, it is important to remember that your wife is making gigantic adjustments that most of us cannot begin to understand. Having to learn how to express intimate thoughts or explain complex emotions in a second language is difficult for even those that are fluent in English. Recognize up front that this adjustment is going to be hard for your wife. Be supportive and sympatric. American culture is also different than Russian. Try to orient your wife to the new culture, while learning as much as you can about hers. Learn Russian history, follow Russian events on the internet. Slowly but surely, learn to speak some Russian. Remember that your wife must perfect a different alphabet and language for you, so you must reciprocate for her.

Also remember that if your wife is stuck at home she will loose her mind, no matter how great you might be. Help her find some work as quickly as you can. Get her transportation somehow - whatever you can afford - a car, bus or subway maps, a bi-cycle or rollerblades.

Get her a gym membership right away. People can deal with stress better if they workout. Go with her from time to time.

Many of you might find your family or friends or social network being unsupportive or skeptical of your marrying someone from abroad. They might not approve of a foreign spouse, someone of a different religion, someone older, someone younger, someone richer, someone less rich, or a second marriage for you. My advise is tell those who do not approve to stick it. Your immediate family - your wife - must come first. In time, people will come to accept your relationship. Surround yourself with supportive people, and open yourself up to meeting new friends as a couple also.

I am blessed with the most wonderful wife any man could want. She fascinates me, and to me she is the most beautiful woman in all the world. I know it is hard for her sometimes. It is my responsibility to be patient with her, to help her get used to like in the United States. I must also work to be positive and optimistic to hasten her adjustment. The differences in her background make her that much more interesting to me. She is good to my two children, and I love her for that so much. I hope I am luckily enough to have a baby with her soon.