WHAT DOES IT MEAN: TO BE REALLY HAPPY?
Lena from Tennessee believes that happiness comes from within...

While reading responses to the current discussion "Are Russian Women Happy Abroad," I noticed that in almost all of them it was mentioned, "being really happy."  What is it about happiness?  It is what we look for when we decide to radically change our lives, and move to the other side of the planet.

While reading responses to the current discussion "Are Russian Women Happy Abroad," I noticed that in almost all of them it was mentioned, "being really happy."  What is it about happiness?  It is what we look for when we decide to radically change our lives, and move to the other side of the planet.

How many women living back in Russia can say that they are "really happy in their personal life?"  I would say not too many.  It is likely that they don't even have time to think about it.  They are up to their neck in work, taking care of children, busy with household chores, and tending to their husbands needs (if a husband is still present).  At the same time, they have family and friends nearby (people don't move around as much in Russia as they do abroad).  In Russia, they can always stop by their neighbors to share their problems, discuss the latest news, and relieve their burdens.

As soon as they start examine their own lives, and come to the conclusion that they are not "really happy," they decide to look for someone somewhere else.  What they hope for and expect is for their new found friend to rescue them, take them far away to a wonderful place where everyone is "happy."  Thus, she should be happy there, too.  Here, they all make a mistake.  I'm speaking of the "expectation trap."  These Russian women come abroad assured that they will  become immediately happy.  Yet, they are still the same people they ever were.  There is nothing anyone can do to make them happy.

  Why don't they feel happy?  I don't really know.  There could be many reasons - we are all different.  Some probably just don't know how.  They were always too busy before (trying to survive could be quite time-consuming).  When there is nothing to struggle for anymore, they are lost.  They don't know how to replace the sudden emptiness in their lives.

Some feel they don't even deserve happiness.  They can't show their merits and achievements.  Instead, everybody sees what they cannot do:  they can't speak well enough, can't drive fast enough, and can't make enough money.  Some just can't be happy when they don't have control over everyday things; they have to depend on their husbands for just about everything.  They forget that this will pass.  It just takes time, a lot of patience, an open heart and mind, and the support of an understanding husband